Hello Friend
I should make that plural– according to my blog statistics, there is still more than one of you, despite my persistent non-blogging.
But it could be that you hate me and are not in fact my friend.
Impossible. I’m totally charming!
I’m totally tired.
In response to emails I have received, I offer the following FAQ (and answers! But wouldn’t it be kind of funnier if corporate websites only listed the questions?):
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q. Where are you?
A. Everywhere. Somewhere. I can’t be sure. It’s a blur.
Q. Why aren’t you blogging?
A. I’m studying for the bar exam, working, and studying for the bar exam.
Q. Are you okay?
A. If by “okay” you mean “sometimes on the verge of tears and/or panic because I don’t understand the difference between a garden variety justifiable breach of a promise in a contract and excuses for non-performance of a condition precedent,” then yes, I’m okay.
Q. No, seriously, is everything okay?
A. Yes, I’m just joking. I’m great. But I still don’t understand excuses for non-performance of a condition precedent. I mean, I understand what they are, but I don’t really see why we need them. Can’t we just call every breach of a contract a “breach of contract” generically and go have a beer? Or can we just categorize them all as “BAD!! breaches of contract” and “hmm, justifiable breaches of contract!” and go have a beer? But I did finally memorize the definition of promissory estoppel, which is… something about a contract or a quasi-contract and promise and detrimental reliance and… fuck it. I’ll probably wake up at 3 a.m. with it. I will most likely not remember it during the essay portion of the bar exam.
Q. How are the kids?
A. According to my most recent text update, they’re great. I sent them away because they kept asking for food and rides to daycare while I was trying to study. They both rode on a boat and Waverunners on Sunday, which is something I’d rather hear about after the fact. Suffice to say that they’re with people who are way more fun than me (even when I’m not studying for the bar).
Q. How’s work?
A. You know how I was waiting for a magical dream job to fall into my lap during the worst job market the legal field has seen in, like, forever, wherein someone would pay me a decent wage to train me in the exact area of legal specialty in which I plan to practice? I didn’t tell you that? I thought it was implied. Anyway, that 90% happened. Some good word-of-mouth from lawyers I clerk for flew into the ear of someone who was looking to add an attorney to their practice, and I landed a pretty good job that I’m really, really enjoying, subject matter-wise. They’re being very flexible with my bar prep course and study schedule– I’m working twelve hours a week to make enough money so I don’t have to live in my car.
Q. Is there anything I can do to help?
A. Yes. My car needs an oil change, bad, and the engine oil cap won’t fucking come off, so I can’t even add oil to make it stop doing that rattling noise it does when it’s low on oil. So. You can pick up my car from the Highland parking garage in the morning, the work parking lot in the afternoon, and the med school library parking garage at night. In the middle of the night it’s in my driveway; watch out for that huge lizard who hangs out around my car. He’ll scare the crap out of you if you’re not anticipating him. If you’re bringing the car back early in the morning, leave coffee at door.
Q. Is there anything I can do to help that doesn’t involve me getting out of my chair?
A. Yes. Please send me lots of inspirational emails about God’s footprints in the sand and something about being carried by Jesus or God or some other deity. Or emails with pictures of kittens hanging from tree branches.
